Giving your partner just one orgasm is cause for celebration. But giving your partner multiple orgasms? Well, that’s enough reason to throw a freaking parade.
That said, one small note: the ability to come more than once comes (pun intended) far more easier for women than it does for guys. A man has to wait for their refractory period to pass before they’re ready for round two, but women don’t seem to need the same reloading phase, says Men’s Health sex advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D. So the following information applies almost exclusively to women and not men.
But just because a woman can come twice in a row doesn’t mean that she will. Studies suggest that somewhere between 14 and 40 percent of women have had multiple orgasms in one session.
So how do you help her become one of the lucky ones? Keep reading to find out more.
1) Make sure she wants to have multiple orgasms to begin with.
Some women would rather cuddle after climaxing than be pressured into an encore. Plus, women differ dramatically in regard to how they can achieve one orgasm, let alone multiple ones, so it’s possible she may be too sensitive to want to go again for Round Two. Always check in with her before trying to make her come again, and never make her feel bad if she can’t pull off a repeat performance.
2) Create lots of sexual tension.
Building up desire is a precursor to any sexual activity. But creating copious amounts of sexual tension can be just what she needs to achieve a bonus orgasm. “You want her to retain her feelings of overall arousal when her body starts to relax after having the first orgasm,” says Amie Harwick, author of The New Sex Bible for Women. So take a few minutes’ break in between. Give her a massage or just cuddle.
3) Keep her idling.
After she has an orgasm, give her clitoris a short break, as it becomes super sensitive for many women immediately after sex, says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. If you’re too focused on that area, she may not be ready to go again.
4) Don’t ignore her breasts and butt.
Spend a minute or two making out and attending to her breasts, butt, and any other favorite non-genital hotspots. Whisper in her ear about how beautiful she looks. Your goal is to keep her in a semi-aroused state so you don’t have to start from scratch to bring her back to the top of the mountain.
5) Rev things back up.
After a woman has an orgasm, the blood that rushes to her genitals during sex lingers, making it easier for her to climax again, Kerner says. He advises men to prime their partner for round two with some dirty talk. Talking dirty will signal to your partner that the momentum is still strong.
6) Return your attention to her genitals.
“Start with a light touch,” says Kerner. “Try lightly circling your finger or tongue over her clitoris slowly, and then work up to more extreme stimulation with an increasingly faster pace, more pressure, and intensity until she’s ready to go again.” Starting with a slow, sensual touch gives your partner more time prepare for the next one.
7. Try a new route.
There’s nothing wrong with sticking with what works, but you can also try bringing her to orgasm by attending to a different erogenous zone. This can work particularly well if her clitoris is still sensitive from round one. Experiment sensually with other areas like the neck, ears, and toes and see how your partner reacts.
8) Alternate between sex positions.
Novelty encourages the release of the feel-good chemical dopamine, which may help her orgasm faster, says Kerner. Aim for her G-spot with positions like woman on top or doggy-style. The change in position will keep your partner on her toes.
9) Don’t be afraid to kick it up a notch.
Feeling more adventurous? Some women can climax from nipple stimulation, research finds. Lightly trace circles on her nipples with your fingers or tongue, building pressure as you go, or try sucking on them. Want to crank it up another notch? Stimulate the area between her vagina and anus with your tongue, suggests Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of Idiot’s Guides: The Kama Sutra. Some women find it mind-blowing — but you want to check with her first.